Christmas Traditions After the Loss of a Loved One
Incorporating New Traditions to Honour Their Memory
Christmas brings complicated feelings when one is grieving the loss of a loved one. While the absence of that person is palpable in the season’s celebrations, there are several meaningful ways to honour their memory during the holidays. Traditions are a big part of the holidays for most families. When someone is missing from these traditions, they can either be held even more dear, or can also feel cumbersome. It is important to give yourself permission to hold close to those traditions that still feel right and to pass on those that don’t. It is also encouraged to begin some new traditions when it feels right to do so. Here are some ideas to inspire you:
- Consider setting a place for your loved one at the dinner table. Place some of your favourite photos of them at their place setting and take comfort that their presence will be felt. Or, if setting a place for them seems like too much, place a candle and photo of them close by.
- Put a memory jar somewhere in your home with pens and pieces of paper. As you have visitors throughout the holiday season, encourage family and friends to write down their memories and stories of your love one and place the slips of the paper into the memory jar. Take turns reading these stories aloud either at the Christmas table (the time between the meal and dessert is a perfect time for this) or sitting around the tree. There is comfort in the laughter and tears that these memories are sure to bring. Or simply take the time to share your favourite Christmas memory of your loved one with others who will understand and laugh or cry with you.
- Support a charitable organization in honour and memory of your loved one. This can be as simple as making a monetary memorial donation to a charity that they held dear or volunteering your time to bring comfort to others during the holidays.
- Create a gratitude journal where you intentionally write 3-5 things every day that you are grateful for; some of these may eventually focus on the loved one that you grieve, and the impact that they had and continue to have on your life. We know you may not feel grateful at all right now, and finding gratitude may feel very difficult, so this may be as simple as stating, “I am grateful for the smell of my coffee in the morning” or ‘I am grateful for the cozy PJs I am wearing that I don’t want to get out of.”
Nothing can take away the sadness and heaviness of grief at Christmas. The reminders of what has been lost are constant in the hustle and bustle of the season. Our hope is that taking time to pause, rest and step back from things when you need to, and finding meaningful ways to honour and remember your loved one will help to lighten the heaviness of your grief this Christmas.
