Talking to Kids About Death and Loss

Whether the loss of a family pet, a loved one, or a family member, the struggle of sharing the news of the loss is the first in a series of difficult conversations for parents.

"What do I say? What words do I use? How do I know what my child is ready to hear? I am grieving, too… how do I share this news and comfort my child while also holding space for my own feelings and grief?”

Just like other aspects of parenting, this parental role does not come with a handbook, however there are some solid resources available to help: 

1. Talking About Death and Dying, an online workshop series for parents and caregivers, via KidsGrief.ca. Overview: "Most parents dread telling their children that someone important to them has a life-limiting illness or is dying. They may hesitate to provide the details about how someone has died. This reluctance comes from a good place. It's a natural instinct to protect children and keep them emotionally safe. Research and experience strongly suggest we talk with our children early on in these situations. The best way to protect children is in fact to given them clear, honest information and support that is right for their personality and maturity."
   
   
2. The BriarPatch Centre for Grieving Families (A Program of Pilgrims Hospice Society) provides a comprehensive array of workshops, art therapy, and individual, group, and family counselling support for families with grieving children, 5 years old and older, in Edmonton, Alberta
   
   
3. Helping Children Cope with Grief, a comprehensive guide from Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Center for Loss & Life Transition. Overview: "Adults grieve. So do children. As an adult or child, experiencing grief means to “feel,” not just to “understand.” Anyone old enough to love is old enough to grieve. Even before children are able to talk, they grieve when someone loved dies. And these feelings about the death become a part of their lives forever."

Please also visit our list of local community resources to help you find local therapists and programs that focus on children’s grief.